February 6th 2001, I was sitting on the floor of the painting studio making a mindless watercolour of Beanie when someone asked what day it was. February 6th? I hadn’t thought about what day it was in two weeks. I hadn’t been aware of how long the winter was, or how long it would be before the equinox would salvage what had survived. It was at this moment that it dawned on me:I was free.The first week on Paxil had been filled with tremors, sleep, and more sleep, but once it passed, I felt it, a fresh breath of air filtering into my stale tomb. I had the urge to open my eyes and See the world again, a world that a short while ago had been a dark tunnel with no end. For the first time in nearly six months, I felt a person inside me, a person that liked Things and did Stuff. I suddenly had more emotions than the default Sad and Panic, ones that were dusty with years of neglect, like Boredom. I realized Boredom while sitting in the shuttle bus several days later, had been unable to exist because all available space in my mind had been taken over by the virus: now it was delightfully empty. My dose of Paxil seems to increase every six months, which tells me that under the floorboards the monster still lurks. But I am on the high ground now, watching ever vigilant. I am enjoying my place here in the sun, for now I am Alive, 20 years in the making.Fun Fact:When MSU learned of what had happened, they awarded me the Carpe Diem Alumni Scholarship for continuing education in the face of extreme adversity.It was worth $1,000.Montclair State rulez.Second Edition Notes: This is where I would have liked to say my life became stable. I would finish school, get a job, get an apartment and become a full fledged Eccentric complete with a couch fort and telescope. But then again, Life had its own agenda...